This is a common complaint at the clinic; many women do experience difficulty in having an orgasm when they have partnered sex. Many have problems with sexual arousal or sensation. 'Directed masturbation' is the preferred treatment method and in principle, involves education, self-exploration and body awareness, and encouraging the patient to masturbate to first experience an orgasm by herself before expecting it to happen when sexually active with a partner.
The objective of this approach is for the woman to initially become comfortable with the experience of an orgasm when alone, with the hope that she will subsequently feel equally comfortable when experiencing an orgasm during partner-related sexual activities such as intercourse or oral stimulation.
Vibrators have been suggested as adjuncts to directed masturbation. On the basis of clinical experience, the use of a vibrator can be helpful, since the intensity of the stimulation cannot be matched by other methods. The proposed mechanism is that sexual function is improved as a result of increased stimulation to the nerve and possibly improved blood flow to the area with assisted stimulation. As a woman becomes more comfortable with a vibrator, she will also become more familiar with her own erotic responsiveness. As a result, this awareness will improve her sexual confidence when having partnered sex.
Some professionals are concerned about the development of dependency on a vibrator; others are not. A vibrator helps many women as it is the only way that they can achieve an orgasm. However, becoming dependent on the vibrator is a possibility as the human caress cannot surpass the intensity and high speed of the machine. The main worry here is that excessive use of a vibrator may culminate in the loss of ability to respond to subtler stimulation.
There are professionals who advise that it is better not to focus too much on orgasm as it can hinder a couple's pleasure. Ultimately, orgasms are just a small part of the sexual experience and many individuals do derive a lot of pleasure from intimacy and bonding.
Other potential side effects from vibrator overuse include numbness, tingling or other injuries to the areas that are naturally sensitive. Numbness and injuries could also be because their partners have been too aggressive when using the vibrators on them.
Another issue is the maintenance of cleanliness of the vibrators, especially when they are shared between folks without proper cleaning. Pain is oftentimes due to incorrect usage or underlying medical conditions. Therefore, it will be important to seek medical advice from a doctor trained in sexual medicine.
Do take periodic breaks from vibrator usage so that you can experience a wider repertoire of sexual pleasures. Many women report having greater clitoral sensitivity after a short break from their vibrator. Once a female learns how to reach an orgasm, it is uncommon for her to lose that capacity, unless there has been poor sexual communication, relationship conflict, a traumatic experience (e.g, rape), a mood disorder or a general medical condition intervenes.
Once again, do seek medical attention if you have not been properly evaluated.
